Changes...for the better?!

[Exuviae]

I don't know if the forum is a literal free-for-all, so I hope The John's will forgive me if this is out of place.
I was supposed to get up early today and got to work early to make up for sick time I took on Monday, but after last night I felt I needed a stress free morning-so work will just have to wait until my normal time!
I officially quit my metal band Scarlet Gospel last night. I told my good friend, Matt (who is ((was))the singer) that I flat out just don't want to do it anymore.
You see, years and years ago, I quit a very promising band in my hometown and became seduced by electronic instruments-vowing NEVER to deal with a band again. I kept this promise to myself for many years, until almost by accident, my buddy Matt and I started tinkering around with some industrial rock tracks I was screwing around with in Ableton. Next thing I knew-there was a band and we started working with other people. The first project fizzled out because we had a bass player who was a frustrated singer and for the last several months we've been dicked around by a potential drummer-who told us on Sunday night that he quits (and we hadn't even gotten to try playing with him!)
I know both of The John's have openly stated that dealing with the bullshit of a band situation is what helped get them started in making solo music all those years ago, so I felt like I could vent this here.
The bad news: Matt and I may not survive as friends, which sucks ASS!
The good news: I can focus on music, without being hindered by other people's crap and feel the pleasure that electronic music gives me (even when I'm composing ominous, scary shit!)
Oh, and the other good thing...hee hee...I can sell my guitar rig and buy cool little boxes that make sounds like "sqwank" and "ploit"!
I once again vow never to be in a "band" again. Collaboration is fine and great, but a band...no, no, no...

[John Koch-Northrup]

ah... the love/hate band thing... There is absolutely nothing better than jamming in a room with a few people that are really into it. Those 'magic' moments where the music takes you somewhere else and all is right with the world. :)

And then there are those times where the drudgery starts to kick in - slogging to get a bad gig - hauling the gear - and the number one issue... ego. Still - I have extremely fond memories of all of the bands I've been in (hindsight tends to favor the good times - why bother with the bad?)

I officially quit playing in bands in 1998 when my last band imploded... it was a fantastic band with my cousin singing/playing guitar, a fantastic drummer, and me playing bass/singing backup. It had that magical feeling for a long time - we were just having fun and lucking into a few gigs - but things just got in the way, my asthma was hitting an all time high (drummer was hauling my gear to gigs for me - we played one place that you had to haul up wooden stairs to the 2nd floor - which was a bear in the winter when they were icy...) - it was fun - but all of a sudden the band imploded and it was over and I decided that was the last band for me.

Since then - I've had great occasional jams - pretty much all of them connected to John / Vir Unis in some way. He brought me over and Chris Short (Ma Ja Le) and another guitarist over for a couple of weekends that were great, John invited me to play the Space For Music festival in Milwaukee back in 2001 with him (wonderful time!) - and then he invited me up again for a 4 hour long improv performance on WNUR in Chicago in 2003...

So yeah - I'm approaching a decade of retirmement from playing bars. I only miss it sometimes - that rush of playing in front of people - that high you get from the crowd when you know they're connecting with the music. The give and take playing live with people.

As far as the solo stuff... in my case my solo career started 'officially' in 1984 (when I was 13/14 years old) when I first started tinkering with synths and started renting 4-tracks. I'd written piano stuff before that - but I think '84 is the start of it. I believe I met John (Vir) and his brother Jim at a teen dance club in 1985 which started a lifelong friendship. John and his brother were also writing their solo stuff at that time as well... I think all of us just went through phases with bands - and John shifted to focusing on his solo stuff long before I did. I have tons of archive stuff in my tape collection (I've posted many of them - I'll post some here eventually - where you can definitely see the beginnings of my fascination with soundscapes, ambient, techno, industrial, noise, etc...) I met Matt somewhere in mid-80's also - I played synth in a band very, very briefly before jumping to a steady gigging cover band (prostitution gigs - but they paid for my gear!) - and he later became their drummer of that first band I'd joined. Wow -old days - seems like yesterday and forever ago all at once.

John

[Vir Unis]

Brooks, I totally understand what you are saying. With me, I always felt like I was the one left holding the bag and nobody was as serious as I was about it. In hindsight, I realize a lot of shortcomings I had, which, for the most part, was a complete naivety about what it was in being successful. In the years since, I've realized a different understanding of success, and, fortunately, have kept pretty good friends with most everyone I was in a band with. I don't really have the time or desire to be in a "band" per se, but I do love to produce bands, working with them, and also collaborating. I sincerely hope you follow up with your electronic music plans. You certainly do make some great music there.

[MjDawn]

I hear what your saying. Being in a band can be an overwhelming headache. And lead to endless questions about why its worth working with other people. But I would be cautious expecting that a solo artist is free from the stress of having to deal with other people in the pursuit of your artistic goals. I'm not saying to stay in your band. By all means, do what you need to do for your sanity and speed yourself toward rewarding ventures with your creativity. But be careful of having any expectations. When you see separating yourself as a healthy way to deal with conflict, you might find the same conflict arising in other areas you never expected it.

[John Koch-Northrup]

That's really good advice. Well said.

[åpne sinn]

Amen to that. 'Settling Density' is one of my all-time favs.

[Exuviae]

Interesting perspective MJ, I'd not thought about it in that light before. As it is, my friend Matt and I seem to be doing just fine as friends now that the break has been made. We talked for a good long while adn there isn't the bad blood I might have expected. I do still enjoy working with other people in collaboration, I just have found over the years that I'm much happier and creatively inspired when not dealing with three to four other personalities that don't share the same goals or interests.

[John Koch-Northrup]

Trust me - we've been beating Brooks with a stick trying to get him to write more music for years.

(says the guy that hasn't recorded in 4 years...)

John

[Vir Unis]

And that's the biggest hurdle in any endeavor; trying to get various personalities to be on the same page. It's even more challenging when you get a bunch of intense young men in a room together, with a lot of desires, expectations, and focused energy on an elusive goal that really isn't there for most people. I agree with what MJ said about separating yourself as a way to deal with conflict. That's what I did. And, yes, a lot of the same conflicts came back in the form of internal archetypes that had to be confronted. However, I embraced that and looked at as an opportunity for real growth. So, the path taken will depend on what you do with the challenges ahead. Conflict doesn't go away until it is absorbed and "reverse engineered" to the point that it simply dissipates like smoke.

[David Syvilian]

Yeah, being in a band is interesting. I have been in one band my entire musical career with my brother and a best friend. I don't think I would be in a band if it wasn't with them. We are groomed for each other. I've always been more interested in making music with people I like than people who may be accomplished or even talented. Like, if we added another member to our band, I would be more apt to teach a friend how to play an instrument than find a stranger who is good at it. Chemistry is everything.

[Wayne Higgins]

I can relate. I ended the last band I was by screaming my head off. I'm still friends with Tracy, of whom I have been in two other bands with. She's isn't sore at me, but she knows never to invite me for a practice session. Bands ALWAYS depend on the others, no matter what stand point you're coming from. When non-existance of the receiving end leaves you bitter, it's time to take a break from it all. I love working with other musicians, but a band takes up so much time, it's not always worth it. I mean, how many nights can you continue to sacrifice artistic creativity for free beer?

Good luck on your new adventures!

[Wayne Higgins]

The last band I was in, I ran out screaming obscenities. Talk about never more!
There is a lot of compromise when in a band, and problems arise when any one member for any reason feels they are the one compromising. Interesting personal point is that I always played bass in bands, due to the fact that there are no bass players and that there are too many guitar players. I would play guitar in a band now, if the conditions were acceptable. Not as much the music as it is location of practice. "Will it be a pain in the ass?" is the main question.
I was never able to play in a band with friends, usually became friends with band members after joining. Also, I've never been in a functioning band in which the members liked the same music (or more particularly the same albums or even artists.) The most fun I ever had playing in a band was joining a band that I had absolutely no idea what they were doing.

[Wayne Higgins]

damn, I didn't realize i had already replied. Work is getting to be quite taxing.

Wayne Higgins said:

The last band I was in, I ran out screaming obscenities. Talk about never more!
There is a lot of compromise when in a band, and problems arise when any one member for any reason feels they are the one compromising. Interesting personal point is that I always played bass in bands, due to the fact that there are no bass players and that there are too many guitar players. I would play guitar in a band now, if the conditions were acceptable. Not as much the music as it is location of practice. "Will it be a pain in the ass?" is the main question.
I was never able to play in a band with friends, usually became friends with band members after joining. Also, I've never been in a functioning band in which the members liked the same music (or more particularly the same albums or even artists.) The most fun I ever had playing in a band was joining a band that I had absolutely no idea what they were doing.